What Now

It's over, but not yet.

I've been teaching myself and attending online classes for 8 weeks, and tomorrow I'm finally done

Besides God and music, I don't really know how I've made it this far. Time just kind of kept going on, like it does, day after day.

There are things I've done to try and stay happy. I spent 2 weeks learning choreography to a song, talked with some friends for nearly 2 hours over Teams, and snacked. I've even made some art and I'll eventually get to making more once my artist's block leaves.

I also feel on edge and pressured. I feel stressed because as a junior I don't know what my future looks like. There's rumored to be a second wave of the virus coming in the fall. My state's supreme court just overruled the lockdown that was going to be in place until May 26. We have no plan.

I'm stressed because people who go outside and disobey social distancing rules are going to prolong this virus. If we don't follow rules, this thing will get worse. People are dying.

I'm stressed and angry at people who think they can go outside now, stressed at seeing comments for class attendance of people saying they look forward to hanging out with their friends this summer.

I feel for my friend who can't fly back to his home and is watching the news everyday, saying how he's actually seen the anti-lockdown protesters.

All of this is happening and I'm only 17. In 7 months I'm an adult. I'll probably have to sacrifice senior year homecoming and other school events that would've been my last. It's crazy to think about. The summer is an unknown.

I've been teaching myself and attending online classes for 8 weeks, and tomorrow I'm finally done.

It's over, but not yet.

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